


bad opinion

by amybri2002



Series: soulmate september [18]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Human AU, Roman has self esteem issues, Soulmate AU, remus is trying his best to be a good brother, roman’s soulmate is never named or introduced so y’all can interpret that however you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:13:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26532670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amybri2002/pseuds/amybri2002
Summary: Roman is afraid to find out what his soulmate thinks of him.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: soulmate september [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905379
Comments: 2
Kudos: 76





	bad opinion

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: your soulmates first impression/thoughts about you are written somewhere on your body.

It had been a month since Roman's eighteenth birthday, and he still refused to look at the writing on his arm, afraid of what he'd read, afraid of what the supposed 'love of his life' would think of him. He knew it was irrational, he knew that his soulmate was supposed to love him for who he was, that they were meant to be, that they would love every single aspect of Roman, but... what was there to even love in the first place? Sure, his friends all said he was wonderful, and people in general seemed to enjoy his presence, but how much of that was pretend? Probably all of it, Roman knew he was annoying and obnoxious and had weird ears and painfully dull eyes and-

He breathed in and out. Now wasn't the time to spiral. He had to get ready for the day, and that meant taking off his pyjamas and getting into the shower, exposing his skin, exposing the writing. As long as he didn't look in the mirror, it would be fine. He didn't have to look at his arm. He could just close his eyes if he really wanted to, then there was no possibility of him seeing the writing! A high possibility of him slipping in the shower and banging his head and dying alone in the bathroom as blood soaked the floor, but whatever, better than the dreadful feeling of knowing his soulmate hated his entire being.

He knew it was irrational. He really, really did. He knew he should just suck it up and take a look, force himself to look, get over his silly little fear. He’d been told so, so many times that it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought, that there was nothing wrong with him, that knowing his soulmates opinions wouldn’t even matter. For him, though, it was harder to believe. Roman had already suffered a lot from self esteem issues, especially a few years back, and knew that looking would damage his self esteem even more, assuming that his soulmate’s first impression was in fact bad. Which it probably was, as his brain told him over and over again.

He got out the shower and dried himself, before quickly pulling on a long sleeved shirt and trousers, going to head out the apartment. He was supposed to be meeting up with his brother today, which was something to look forward to, at least. Something to distract himself. Sure, his brother was annoying, but he still somewhat enjoyed his company, in small amounts.

After walking for twenty minutes or so, Roman turned into a café and spotted his brother in the corner, waving widely at him. Suppressing a fond smile, Roman made his way over and sat down, as Remus slid a cup of coffee towards him.

Roman eyed the coffee suspiciously. “You didn’t spit in this, did you?”

“Why would I do that to my lovely brother,” Remus said, leaning his head on his hands and displaying a wide grin.

Roman sighed. “I swear to God if this poisons me-“ Still, he took a sip, and it wasn’t terrible, so he could assume that Remus hadn’t poisoned it. Hopefully.

There was silence for a few moments, before Remus quietly asked, “Have you looked at your arm yet?”

Roman froze, coffee cup hovering just below his lips, fingers beginning to grip tighter. Remus just stared harder. Roman slowly lowered his cup, and sat up straight, trying to maintain a calm composure.

“No, I have not,” he told Remus. “Nor do I want to.”

“Why not, though?”

“Because-“ Roman sighed, then groaned. “Because I don’t care what my soulmate thinks of me, and I don’t need to know.”

“If you didn’t care what they thought you’d just take a look,” Remus argued. He was right, of course, but Roman wasn’t about to admit that.

“I know that looking may be harmful to my mental health, and right now I’m trying to focus on me.”

“Aren’t you even a little curious?”

He was. He really, really was. Roman craved validation so, so much, and looking at this arm to see compliments and positive thoughts all directed at him would do wonders, would make him feel so, so much better. But, at the same time, how could he risk it? Who was to say that the writing was negative, or that the compliments were all fake? These hypothetical compliments would definitely be fake, Roman couldn’t think of a single positive thing to say about himself, and if Roman really knew himself better than anyone, how was anybody else supposed to think of positive things to say about Roman?

“Well, what did yours say?” Roman asked instead, looking up at Remus.

Remus just smirked and shoved out his arm. Roman read as much as he could before Remus pulled his arm back, and it really didn’t help. He mostly picked up the word ‘weird’ over and over again, and really couldn’t spot anything nice at all.

“I’m sorry your soulmate thinks that of you.”

Remus snorted. “Nah, they love me. Everything there is the truth, anyway.” 

Roman frowned. “If... If that’s the truth I really don’t think I want to look. I mean... I’d rather live in ignorance of my soulmate’s hatred of me. If I don’t look I can pretends it’s positive, right?”

“Why would your soulmate hate you?” Remus asked, his tone genuine.

“Why wouldn’t they?” Roman retorted, with a nervous laugh.

“Because you’re a cool and talented person?”

Roman huffed. “I’m neither of those.”

“Yes you are, Roman.” Remus leaned over the table. “Remember what your therapist told you?”

A pause, and then a sigh. “I’m better than I give myself credit for and have a lot more positive attributes than I think.”

“There we go.” Remus smiled. “You don’t need to be afraid of seeing what they think.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Roman said, his tone almost bitter. “You’ve never cared what people think of you.”

“This isn’t about me.” That shut Roman up pretty quickly. “What’s good to know is that what’s written on your arm isn’t really what they think of it. It’s their first impression, which soon changes. You’ll be fine, Roman.”

A long silence. “Do you promise?”

“Of course.”

“What if it’s really bad, though?”

“Your soulmate will grow to love you. That’s how it works.”

Silence again. Roman slowly lifted up his sleeve. Tears sprang to his eyes and a smile spread across his face.


End file.
